Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
