Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
