it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
