There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
