you would pick up someone in the library
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
