I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
