When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
