How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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