Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
