The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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