A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize