butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
