i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Found the puke drawer
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
