He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
