what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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