chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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