is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
