Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
