That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
