Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
