just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
