Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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