I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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