I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
