her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
