I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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