Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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