is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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