If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
