you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
this hospital has no fireball
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
