Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
