my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
