Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
