i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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