two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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