i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
