Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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