Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
