Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
