just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i will never coherently bang her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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