$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
