Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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