nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's blow job season.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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