we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
