it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Who did Billy Mays play for?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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