don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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