I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You're like the curious george of whores
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
