I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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