If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
