I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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