Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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